


ignite it or bury it, let it burn

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Concubine AU, Emotionally Repressed, Flirting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I wish he’d stay more though. Sometimes I feel more like a decoration than a husband,"Yuzu feels a bit jealous and lonely as the emperor, Javier, keeps spending more time with Consort Uno and his other concubines. In this time, he forms a friendship with his husband's advisor, but he still longs for his husband, hoping one day, he'll choose to trust him, and stay the night.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu, Nathan Chen/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 32
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I was stressed and this is my ramble writing. I'll finish this up soon! Essentially, Javi's the emperor, and Yuzuru's his main husband (I didn't want to call him the empress y'know), and Yuzuru feels a little neglected. Rightfully so. Get that bread child.

Yuzu knows that he can’t be jealous, but he is.

Taking the role of the emperor’s husband, formally called the Emperor Consort, he’s supposed to be the favourite, the only one who shares a chamber with the emperor. but recently he’d been feeling more like the imperial accessory or imperial handbag, just a decoration to show off. Javier had been spending more and more time with other concubines, especially Consort Uno, and when they passed by each other, there was little eagerness or excitement from him.

It’s yet another evening, and Javier was in their shared room, tidying up his documents from the day. The walls were engraved with warm shades of red and gold, all bright and bold, but Yuzu still felt incredibly cold on the mattress. Yuzu watched him, playing with the blanket as he silently wondered what he could say to his husband.

“Are you gonna stay tonight Javi?” Yuzuru asked as the man continued to shuffle his work around.

“Probably not, sorry.” he responded weakly, not even looking up. Yuzu could only sigh, but slowly treaded over to Javi. He wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, squeezing the fabric gently.

“Just tonight?” Yuzu pleaded. “If you’re not too busy, of course. I’m just a bit…”

Javi stopped fiddling with his papers, chewing his lip. “Sorry I promised Consort Uno I’d visit him today,” Javi said, as per usual. “maybe another day?”

“Okay,” Yuzu muttered defeatedly, nuzzling into the emperor’s back. He then quietly let go of Javi and headed back to the bed, fiddling with his hair in an attempt to avoid any eye-contact.

“Oh don’t be like that, I’ll spend time with you tomorrow.” Javi assured, walking to Yuzu, who still sat there, playing with his bangs awkwardly.

Yuzu claimed softly, “You said tomorrow yesterday, and the day before, and every day before that.”

Javier started, “I promise-”

“It’s fine, I’m being ridiculous. Enjoy yourself tonight.” Yuzu replied, a weak smile on his face. He locked eyes with Javi and stood up from the bed, spinning the emperor around and shoving him towards the door. “What makes you happy makes me happy, so go relax alright? I love you.”

The emperor turned around and faced his husband. They locked eyes as Yuzu pouted, making Javier laugh. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently against the other’s, palm ever so slightly grazing his lover’s cheek.

“Good night Yuzu,” he whispered, a smile creeping up on his face seeing Yuzu flush red. Even after a year of marriage, he was still easily embarrassed and Javier found it adorable each and every time.

“Bye bye,” Yuzuru managed to get out. Javier kissed his right temple tenderly before retreating, waving a goodbye as he left, disappearing into the dark. Yuzuru waved back feebly, butterflies bouncing off the walls of his stomach. He returned inside, arms crossing over himself. He sat down at his dressing table, daydreaming about what he could do if Javier did stay the next night.

“What makes you happy makes me happy! Oh Javier yes! I love you!” a voice mocked from outside, making Yuzuru roll his eyes knowingly. The voice travelled inside as a man came into his chamber, dressed smartly in pearl white robes.

“You’re really setting up yourself for jail time, teasing the emperor’s spouse AND entering his private chamber. The utter audacity, the scandal…” Yuzu joked lightly, spinning around to greet Javier’s imperial advisor, Nathan. They got along well, always making eye contact in court and struggling to hold back laughs when Javier made dumb mistakes. Once, he came into court with his plans for a library when they were supposed to be planning a funeral, leading to 10 minutes of melodrama and Nathan having to pinch Yuzu to stop laughing.

“Well, your highness, you haven’t shrieked and thrown me out yet, so that’s a good sign.” Nathan remarked, smirking.

Yuzu giggled, “Alright alright, what’s up? Tell me before someone thinks you’re out to stab me,”

“It was cold outside, and you two were being all mushy again. Thought I could use the toilet to puke in from all that sweetness,” Nathan expressed, as Yuzu groaned.

“Is that what you came for? To torment me?” Yuzu cried.

“Partially,” Nathan admitted. “but you…you sounded lonely, and no one likes that. I thought you could do with some company.”

“Lonely?”

“I’m not stupid, he’s been going off to everyone else every night. I can imagine it’d hurt, if I were you it’d tear at my soul.” Nathan claimed, lowering his voice as he looked away.

“Oh my god that’s adorable.” Yuzu observed, giving him a fond smile. “Aww, I didn’t know you could be this sweet!”

“It’s not that big a deal,” he maintained as Yuzu leant over him, patting his head like he was a puppy. “I’ll be your free listening machine today, your highness, rant your heart out.” Yuzu beamed one of his signature smiles, rushing to drag a chair over for Nathan to sit on. Nathan took a seat as Yuzu dramatically splayed himself on the bed, pulling the blanket over himself as he stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t really have anything to rant about though. I know my position, I know Javi has concubines.” Yuzu told him. “Also, I know Shoma well! He was so awkward and dorky when he first came, it’s almost…instinctual to take care of him. He’s cute AND really nice, unlike some other people…He’s just a shortie with a good heart. So I can’t be mad-”

“It’s normal to be possessive, it’s impossible to be 100% fine with everything all the time.” Nathan stated nonchalantly.

“I guess…I wish he’d stay more though. Sometimes I feel more like a decoration than a husband, and I just want some attention, even if I sound needy.” Yuzu confessed, scratching the back of his head.

“It’s such bullshit though. You can only be committed to him, but he can sleep with the whole damn nation.” Nathan noted. “I’m his advisor and all, but the standards in court are backwards.”

“It’s like there’s no room for love or anything real,” Yuzu complained, rolling over to face Nathan. “and everyone’s such big liars. I can’t hold a decent conversation with half of the men and women here.”

“Just a bunch of suck ups trying to gain favour. I can’t comprehend how Javier can stand it. Officials fighting amongst themselves for power, concubines fighting for a position, I’d want to crawl into a hole and die.” Nathan declared. “Concubines are crazy, everyone’s got eyes on everyone else and they tear each other apart if one gets a mere compliment.”

Yuzu let out an exhausted groan, burying his face into the mattress. He huffed, “Enough serious talk for today, let’s just be stupid. Now is relax time, not time to have an existential crisis. I wanna do something else.”

Nathan nodded, leaning back into his chair as they sat in a comfortable silence. Before long, Nathan was suddenly struck by a thought.“Oh my god, do you remember the last time I tried to paint a-”

“I’m not letting you near my paints! Javier’s gonna think I’m cursing him with those cursed paintings of yours!” Yuzuru squealed, sitting up immediately.

“My panda painting was not that bad! I thought it was cute!” Nathan defended as Yuzu’s eyes widened. “I have a very lovely talent, your highness!”

“Your talent for pandas is nonexistent, it looked like a PENIS. I don’t want any more PENIS DRAWINGS in my vicinity!” Yuzuru screeched, getting flashbacks to when Nathan tried to paint to impress a foreign official.

“Then teach me how to paint! It’s something to do, isn’t it your highness?” Nathan challenged. “Also, you’re like, the best artist in the palace, I’m sure it’ll be a great experience for you too.”

“Any experience with penises is not great,” Yuzuru reasoned, trying his hardest not to smile.

“What a talent I have,” Nathan reiterated. “I made the prettiest and most desired person in the palace say ‘penis’ three times!”

“Stop! No!” Yuzu squeaked, almost falling off the bed as Nathan stood up triumphantly.

“Imagine, the emperor’s beautiful husband, saying such vulgar-”

“I’ll teach you, I’ll teach you! But please, stop talking. No, stop breathing.”

“That’s a bit difficult, I might need an example.”

The duo stayed up for the majority of the night, drawing and painting whatever they could think of, with Nathan occasionally attacking Yuzu and painting his face, making him scream and rush to the bathroom. Yuzu tried to teach him the basic structure of an animal, but Nathan’s brushstrokes were ugly and chunky, making both of them lose their shit seeing the difference between their work. Neither of them managed to paint anything of any significance the whole night, eventually both plonking down at the table as the clock struck 3, both worn out from all the laughing.

“Thanks for this Nathan, I really needed it.” Yuzu whispered softly, facing Nathan on the table.

“No worries your highness, I enjoyed this too. It’s a good break from our usual work.” Nathan replied, chuckling. Yuzu giggled back, cutely nestling into his arms as he rested his cheek on the table. “Alright then, I’ll take my leave. We really, really need to sleep.”

“Stay,” Yuzu muttered, grabbing weakly at his sleeve.

“You were the one who said I wasn’t allowed in here, and technically, I’m not. I don’t wanna be punished for this, you know?” Nathan reasoned, struggling to refute the young boy.

“Don’t leave me alone, just stay here, at least til I fall asleep, please Nate,” Yuzu begged softly, eyelashes batting slowly as he grew more and more tired. His eyes bore into Nathan’s soul, pleading for one night with a little warmth he could cling to. Looking at the door and back at the man in front of him, he could only sigh.He pulled a chair next to Yuzuru and sat next to him, slinging his outer robe to cover Yuzuru and keep him warm. Yuzu gave him a smile and let his eyes flutter shut, his breathing slowly steadying.

Nathan watched his peaceful, at ease expression and smiled, glad that he was able to do something as the imperial advisor for once. His main duty was to Javier, but he had to admit he held a soft spot for his ever understanding, beautiful and graceful husband. One would be an idiot to see just how gentle and lovable Yuzuru was, biting remarks and all. Javier was a diligent emperor, but he’d be nothing without his husband. Their interactions were always cute though, two proud rulers collaborating while also flirting at the same time. Nathan was glad to be their royal advisor, even if he was a third wheel. Now that he had more quality time with one half of the duo, he hoped that he too would feel less lonely in palace filled to the brim with envy and hate.

He turned back to look at Yuzuru. He had a half grin on his face, one eye was half open, and he had a bit of drool running down his cheek. Quite frankly, he was an ugly sleeper, yet he still managed to carry himself with grace, his arms cupping his face gently, his legs crossed politely, so many other things.

Nathan let himself fall asleep, promising to protect and keep up his duties for the emperor and his husband.

-

Javier checked the clock for the fourth time, wondering if he had gotten the time wrong. It was 9 in the morning, and by now his husband and his advisor should have came to his study.

“Any news? Did they oversleep perhaps?” Javier asked a messenger.

“I’m unsure, your highness. There is talk that Nathan accompanied your husband last night, but I cannot confirm.” the messenger replied blankly. He excused himself and then bowed, exiting the room quickly and quietly.

Javier did feel bad leaving his husband alone last night, seeing his tired eyes, but he had already made plans with Consort Uno. He was the emperor, he was allowed to do what he wanted, and that included concubines. He enjoyed himself, but he still felt a sinking feeling in his stomach seeing his usually bright sweetheart look so resigned for the dozenth time in a row. Javier was planning to apologise, but kept finding himself going back to his messenger’s words.

His trusted advisor accompanying his husband? That was by no means out of the ordinary, but at night, and oh so sneakily? He knew neither were that type of person, however, Yuzu was undeniably pretty, and Nathan was a healthy young man…

His thoughts dissipated when there was a knock at his door. He called for them to come in and in came Yuzuru and Nathan, both of their hair messy and overall sloppily put together.

“I’m so sorry we’re late your highness, I overslept and forgot to wake your husband up.” Nathan apologised, bowing his head.

“It’s not your fault Nate, I was a mess.” Yuzu refuted. “Either way, I’m very sorry Javier, this won’t happen again.” he said, walking towards the table where Javier sat.

Javier eyed his husband up and down, a calculating stare at his unusual slightly dishevelled appearance. Yuzuru approached him gently, walking to his side. “Did you two arrive together?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes we did, your highness.” Nathan answered dutifully as Javier’s eyes narrowed.

“I heard Nathan was with you last night Yuzuru, is that true?” he continued, standing up from his seat as Nathan restrained the instinct to facepalm at the implication.

“Yes, we both wanted to relax and I had a great time.” Yuzuru beamed back, blissfully unaware. “Your advisor is amusing, a very teasing man.”

“What did you do last night?” he queried, wrapping his arm around his lover possessively as Yuzuru blindly leaned in.

“We chatted and painted for a bit, it was good fun. You should join us sometime, Javi. Nathan’s drawings are atrocious,” he commented. Javier chuckled and tightly pressed Yuzuru’s small waist against him, kissing his jaw and the tip of his nose before letting him go. Yuzuru’s face went completely red and he let out a high pitched noise, glancing side to side as he played with the hems of his sleeves. Javier laughed again and stroked Yuzu’s cheekbone, the other arm running up and down his back, making Nathan groan from the blatant “territory marking” Javier was trying to enforce.

“Alright, I’ll let you have your fun now. I need to go through our trading schedule with Nathan, I’ll see you later.” he said. Yuzuru gave him a bright smile, bowed, then left the room, the skip in his step apparent.

He hummed softly as he trailed outside, thinking about what he could do. He had let his ladies in waiting have a day off, and he wanted to let them rest. As he looked around, he saw Consort Uno sitting at the fountain, quietly sewing.

In typical fashion, he decided to go bother the younger.

“Shoma! Shoma, what are you making?” he called, waving frantically as Shoma looked up, surprised.

“Hanyu-san?” Shoma cried confusedly as Yuzuru squished him tightly. “I’m just fixing a quilt, is something wrong?”

“No one’s around, I’m just Yuzu-kun, right?” Yuzu reminded lightly. “I’m doing fine, just curious.”

Shoma gave him a glare over his shoulder, saying, “I can’t breathe Yuzu-kun, please let me return to my sewing.”

“Eh, please entertain me? I’ll help you out if you want,” Yuzuru requested, pinching his cheeks. Shoma rolled his eyes but smiled at Yuzu, handing him one half of the quilt. Yuzu ruffled his hair and took a needle in hand, fixing at the edges.

“So…how was last night?” Yuzu teased. Shoma groaned, jabbing at the fabric as Yuzuru eyed him curiously.

“It was…normal. Javier’s always very nice,” Shoma explained, the expression on his face one Yuzuru couldn’t decipher.

“That’s true, I guess.” Yuzuru trailed off, fiddling with an outlying thread.

“He’s been coming to me a lot more lately, is that…is that alright?” Shoma inquired, looking up at his senior.

“Of course, I know you’re good for him.” Yuzu stated immediately.

Shoma responded, “It’s been a lot this past month so I was just wondering. I don’t want to bother you or make you feel bad or anything.”

“Even if I do, I know my place. I don’t really have a say,”

“If it annoys you I can-”

“It’s fine, I should be used to it.” Yuzuru blurted, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. Shoma looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but Yuzu just continued as if nothing happened, fidgeting with the soft fabric. He noticed Shoma’s stare, choosing to squeeze Shoma’s shoulder gently, but continued with his sewing, sitting in silence in front of the fountain. He heaved a sigh of relief as Shoma stopped pursuing the topic, resting his head on his shoulder like a little brother. Yuzuru leaned back on Shoma too, thankful for his warmth. The duo worked to finish up the quilt, with only the sound of water flowing behind them.

Later, as the sun shined overhead, Yuzu was half asleep, blindly putting random stitches in where he felt like it when Javier and Nathan came outside, Nathan following behind him as Javier sauntered over to the fountain.

“Enjoying the sun? It has been raining quite a lot recently, it’s strange.” Javier grinned as Yuzuru shook awake, making Shoma snicker.

“Hanyu-san was just helping me with a quilt, although the lazy idiot almost fell asleep.” Shoma explained, prodding at the elder’s cheeks until he sat up.

“You’re horrible Shoma, absolutely horrible.” Yuzu commented, making him laugh loudly. “Anyways, is something the matter?”

“Oh nothing, I just wanted to speak to Consort Uno, privately.” Javier voiced casually. Nathan, stood next to him, opened his mouth to speak, but shut his mouth firmly, trying to ignore Yuzuru’s flinch as the emperor said “privately”. Next to Yuzuru, Shoma looked back at Yuzuru, who gazed back at him blankly, chewing on his lip as he looked back down, almost demoralised. Shoma squeezed his friend’s palm behind his back, tapping him twice. Yuzuru looked back up again ruminantly, hesitating before nodding, smiling at his fluffy haired companion. Javier on his part just raised an eyebrow, glancing at the duo. Yuzu ushered Shoma up, walking him over to the emperor. As Shoma and Javier left, Shoma looked behind him, pensive, but all he got was a polite wave from Yuzu, which he returned.

“You’re stuck with me again, congrats.” Nathan announced, brushing Yuzu’s bangs out of his face.

“So it seems.” Yuzu mumbled, looking up at Nathan as he fiddled with his fingers. Nathan pinched his earlobe and Yuzu screeched, punching at Nathan’s chest, making him crack up, Yuzu eventually giggling with him. They separated, looking back to the fountain.

“It’s a dick move to ask right in front of you, sorry about that.” Nathan disclosed.

“It happens.” Yuzu mumbled, lowering his head again. “Do you know if he’s gonna stay tonight?”

Nathan recounted, “I remember him having plans to oversee construction in the capital, so perhaps not…”

“Then did he ask Shoma to…to-”

“Hey, like you said last night, it’s relax time not stress time. You taught me something last night, I could teach you something today?” Nathan reasoned with the boy in front of him, tilting his chin up to face him. “Any requests, your highness?”

“Curse you for using my words against me, Nate.” Yuzu exhaled, walking off away from the fountain towards the courtyard.

Nathan called after him, “Where are you going your highness?”

“The archery ground, of course. I’m pretty rusty, so I could use some help, Nate.” Yuzuru replied before rushing off to the courtyard. Nathan rolled his eyes, chasing after him slowly. When he reached the courtyard, he saw the man sat on the ground awkwardly fiddling with an old bow, making him choke.

“Don’t just stand there, help me! When I say I’m rusty I’m not lying!” Yuzu whined petulantly.

Nathan laughed, “Please define rusty, just for reference.”

“Um, maybe 3 and a half years? It was the first thing that came to mind.” Yuzu mentioned sheepishly. “My father always tried to teach me, but then I came to the palace.”

“Do you know how to assemble a bow?” Nathan queried.

“Do I look like I do?”

Nathan sat himself down next to the emperor consort, grabbing the bow and arrows from his hand as he gestured for the other to stand. As he assembled it, Yuzuru dragged out the target boards eagerly, placing them a comfortable distance away. Yuzuru then returned to Nathan’s side, looking over his shoulder as he checked for any scuffs and scratches. He stood up, dusting himself off as he handed an arrow and the bow to the older. Hesitantly, using his nose as his anchor point, Yuzu drew back the arrow. In an instant, the arrow shot off, flying towards the target.

And straight into the ground.

“I don’t get it! It looks cool in theory but whenever I release it, it goes down!” Yuzu whined incessantly.

“Didn’t your father try and help you?” Nathan wondered aloud.

Yuzuru pouted cutely, “He just laughed his ass off, my father was so mean!”

“Can I borrow your bow for a second?” Nathan queried, which Yuzuru responded with a nod, handing it over to him. Nathan set himself up in no time, and in a flash, the sleek black arrow flew forwards rapidly, hitting the target dead on.

“Now that’s just unfair.” Yuzuru protested, although the glint in his eyes gave him away a little.

“It’s fun when you get good at it. I’ll help you.” Nathan proclaimed, making Yuzuru smile, rushing over to grab the bow. Nathan looked as Yuzuru lined up to try again, cringing at how tense he looked, remarking, “Your shoulder position is so stiff, relax. Put more strength into it, simply pulling it back is not gonna make it fly.”

Yuzuru tilted his head and looked at him confusedly, instructing him, “Could you help then?”

Nathan stepped behind him, gripping his shoulders as he gently shoved Yuzu a little to the right. He then took his hands and lined him up with the target board. Yuzu tried to focus his eyes on the target, but feeling Nathan’s breath tickle his neck made him flinch. He kept looking at the advisor out of the corner of his eye, a little flustered at the close proximity.

“Relax your highness, you don’t want to shake into an oblivion.” Nathan reminded him, making Yuzuru’s ears flush red. Holding his hands, he helped Yuzuru line up the shot. In the blink of an eye, the arrow darted across the field in a matter of seconds, striking the board with a resounding echo. Yuzuru stared at the board, dazed.

“You got 8 points, your highness, that’s not bad at all!” Nathan exclaimed. “Especially since you couldn’t hold a bow 2 seconds ago.”

Yuzuru shot him a glare, stating, “I’m not hopeless.”

“I know you aren’t, your highness. I’m proud of you.”

“That was actually like…really satisfying though.” Yuzuru confessed as Nathan grinned. “I wanna do it again. I want to go again! Help me!”

“If you get a 10 within the next hour I’ll discretely order you new silk clothes under the royal budget.” Nathan announced.

“Oh I’m getting a 10 alright! No, that’s too easy, I’ll get a 10 WITHOUT your help and THEN you’ll get them for me.” Yuzuru gloated. “I want extra sparkles. Now, teach me first, then I’ll crush you.”

Yuzuru actually didn’t get a 10 for the whole 2 and a half hours they spent at the field, not even with Nathan’s help. The few times he got 9 points he jumped elatedly, only to realise he had failed once more. Nathan’s boisterous laughter at his false hope made him increasingly more agitated as time went on, and as the sun started to set, his advisor decided they should probably retreat inside, both sweating slightly.

  
“I really thought I’d get a 10…” Yuzuru grumbled, walking down the decorated pathway.

Nathan replied, “Well considering your…rough beginnings, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”

“Is that the nicest way you could call me mediocre, Nate?” Yuzuru inferred, making Nathan nod his head so firmly Yuzuru couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’ll be nice. How about if you can get a 10 any time this week, I’ll still sneak it into the budget? I promise.” Nathan gleaned, making Yuzuru smirk.

“I’ll try my hardest. The sparkles better be extremely sparkly.” Yuzuru declared.

They continued slowly in silence until Yuzuru’s private chamber. There, Nathan bowed respectfully, turning to leave when the imperial consort grabbed his arm, pulling him back as his arm pressed against his chest.

“Do you want to stay again? We won’t stay up too late, just have a bit of fun as a nice way to end that day.” he proposed eagerly.

“People are going to notice if I keep going into your private room, your highness.”

“Come on, I won’t say a word. Let’s get your painting skills picture perfect, then you can include a template for the design of my new clothes.”

Unable to reject the bright boy’s request, Nathan sighed, following the consort inside as he speedily whipped out some fluffy brushes and bold paints. They passed the time painting vibrant colours on the sheets of paper, the table piling up with drawings of all shapes and colours. Yuzuru worked on improvising a pretty white swan while Nathan drew what could only be described as caricatures, terrifying portraits of their friends and acquaintances with their eyes too big and their grin tenfold more malicious than usual. Both were soon tired out, and after Nathan went out to leave Yuzuru’s swan to dry, Yuzuru was already swaying on the chair back and forth.

“You should sleep on your bed, your highness.” Nathan advised, taking seat next to the royal once more.

“Here’s more comfortable, and like…warm.” Yuzuru murmured faintly.

“How can this stiff, ugly chair be more comfortable than a mattress?” Nathan challenged as Yuzuru smiled lightly.

“It’s not ugly, I like it…” Yuzuru spoke under his breath. “And the bed without Javi feels wrong. It always feels bigger, too big, too lonely…”

Nathan stroked the elder’s hair gently, taking in a breath sharply as Yuzuru instinctively nuzzled his hand with his cheek. His head eventually fell on the advisor’s shoulders, free from tension. Nathan’s breathing grew heavy as he watched Yuzuru’s chest rise up and down, wondering how much he kept in there to make everyone else happy. He truly was beautiful, and he could only hope the palace wouldn’t ruin him.

“Goodnight, Yuzuru.” he whispered softly. Yuzuru mumbled something back, and both lay themselves to rest there on the table.

-

“Can someone explain why my husband is resting on your shoulder?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Sorry this dragged on, it was random drabble. Hopefully Javi can open his eyes and realise he's being a big idiot soon and playing hard to get ain't equal ignoring your husband (・ε・｀)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Javi being emotionally constipated for 3000 words. Welcome to him being unable to deal with jealousy for the first time and making a train wreck become an emotional wreck!

Javier returned to the palace at the crack of dawn, exhausted from the previous night. He was absolutely drained through and through, and desperately needed to nap until court later that morning. He also wanted to see his husband again. He had planned to ask Consort Uno to accompany him, and he didn’t feel awkward about it until he saw his husband’s clearly faked expression and the disappointed gaze in his eyes. He needed to spoil him, and he was always down to cuddle in the morning. Dismissing his attendees, he slid open the door to his chamber quietly, expecting to see his husband on their bed. Yuzuru was in fact snoozing quietly at his desk. Javier would have found it cute, except for the fact that he was leaning on his own advisor’s shoulders, both comfortably snuggled up against each other.

The chamber was called a private chamber for a reason. Everyone else barring the emperor and his husband was banned from the room intentionally, yet here his advisor was, acting all cuddly with his husband so casually. Yuzuru was even grabbing Nathan’s arm in his sleep, making Javier feel a burning sensation deep in his chest. He walked up to the table, eyebrows creasing as he eyed the duo. He roughly patted Yuzuru’s shoulder, startling both of them awake.

“Can someone explain why my husband is resting on your shoulder?” he growled. “In MY chamber, nonetheless?” Nathan immediately shook awake and next to him, Yuzuru flinched, blinking awake.

Nathan began, “I’m so-”

“I invited him in last night to paint again. I gave him permission, it’s my fault.” Yuzuru apologised, making Nathan purse his lips.

“Why did you invite another man into our chamber?” he snarled, making Yuzuru wince as Nathan squeezed his arm reassuringly.

“I’m sorry, I felt quite lonely last night…” Yuzuru expressed softly, still not fully awake. “I wanted company and you…you weren’t there. So I wanted to spend time with a friend. Nothing else to it, it’s my mistake.”

Nathan started, “Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault-”

“So now I’m at fault? What do you expect me to think when I come back to my husband with another man, huh?” Javi interrogated. Yuzuru stood up from his chair to apologise, mumbling “I’m sorry” over and over again. He attempted to take Javier’s hand in his, but Javier aggressively shook him off, pushing Yuzuru back against the table. Nathan stood up immediately, reaching out for Yuzuru. Yuzuru stared back at Javier, eyes filled with fear and regret meeting the other’s cold gaze.

“We’ll talk later. Please leave, I’m going to talk to Nathan now.” Javier announced blankly. Yuzuru looked back, eyes softening, but seeing the lack of warmth in his husbands eyes, he picked himself up.

“I love you, Javi.” he uttered softly before hurriedly leaving the room, bowing slightly before closing the door behind him. Javier let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, once again looking back at the door then back at his advisor, who stood up in front of him, facing him. The intense glare in his advisor’s eyes made him feel even worse, pissing him off again.

“Are you making advances on my husband?” he barked brusquely. Nathan stared back at him unflinchingly, eyes narrowing.

“I’m not, I wouldn’t pursue a married man.” Nathan responded roughly. “Although it doesn’t seem like it lately, leaving him all alone as you sleep with others.”

“Know your place Nathan, don’t push it. That’s expected of the emperor, it’s nothing new.” Javier snapped.

“I’m not questioning your authority, I just want to ask something.” Nathan said curtly. “When was the last time you slept in your own bed?”

“That’s not relevant, and you know it.” Javier asserted, both of their glares intensifying.

“Is it not natural that he feels neglected, having his husband leave him alone all the time?” Nathan asked bluntly. “You make him feel self-conscious, you make him act self-depreciatively, isn’t that horribly irresponsible, your highness?”

“It’s not my-”

“Is it so wrong to give him someone to talk to? Some comfort? Because you won’t change?”

“Nathan, don’t-”

“You don’t have to agree with me. I know I’ve overstepped boundaries, and I apologise for entering your room. My primary duty is still as your advisor, and I will serve as so to the best of my abilities; giving you advice.” Nathan interjected. “I’ll see you in court for duties later.” Nathan bowed, looking up at the emperor defiantly as he stepped outside, Javier watching as he left.

Javier sighed, slumping on the cold double bed alone. He curled in the blankets, wincing as he thought about the fear in Yuzuru’s eyes and the harsh glare of Nathan’s. He trusted both, and they were always a trio, but his unwarranted jealousy just had to ruin everything. He knew he’d always tend to lash out when he was angry or frustrated, but never at someone important to him. Yes, he enjoyed the company of his concubines, but nothing could beat the warmth of his first love.

He lay his head on the pillow, thinking about Yuzuru’s smile, the grin showing his pearly white teeth whenever he was elated.

-

THREE YEARS PRIOR

“Prince Javier! Prince Javier! It’s time for your history lesson, please come down to the main room.” the teacher called for the young prince, who groaned loudly.

“I don’t want to! I won’t! You can’t and won’t force me to!” Javier answered stubbornly.

“I’ll make the lesson short and snappy alright, please just come down. You want to be the emperor, don’t you?” Brian reasoned, exasperated. Javier looked back at him, raising an eyebrow but his expression still bored and jaded.

“How about this: I’ll let you sneak off to see that imperial official’s nephew if you complete this chapter today.” Brain tried. Javier’s eyes instantly lit up and he tumbled out of his bed, making Brian scoff. “My god you’re obvious, you’re lucky your father hasn’t realised yet.”

“I’ll do it, not because of that or anything. You promise though, right?” Javier retorted childishly. Brian ruffled his hair, making Javier whine, and he guided him to the table. They sat down with their papers and went through the textbook, Javier’s mind filled with images of a certain boy’s scrunchy smile and soft hands. Eventually, after going through some weird law introduced by his great-grandfather, Brain let him go, snickering as he saw the young prince bolt off down the hallway.

Javier rushed outside into the garden, keenly searching for a black tuft of hair. He looked around the greenery but didn’t see him. He bit his lip, realising that he’d probably have to go to the pretty boy’s own personal room. He walked slowly across the garden to the residential area, sneaking towards a bright beige home at the front. There, he heard a soft hum, gently telling the tale of spring and the blooming flowers. Javier smiled as he slid open the door to the chamber, knocking politely.

“Oh, Prince Fernandez, I wasn’t expecting you!” Yuzuru beamed, waving at him. Javier noticed the paint splotches all over his face and sleeves and barely held back a laugh, waving back as he slid the door shut. The younger hastily put down his paint brush and went to pull out a chair for the young prince, which he sat in gratefully. “Is…is there something wrong, your highness?” he asked politely, giving a shy smile.

“Oh no, I was just bored, Yuzuru.” Javier stated calmly as he subtly shuffled closer to the boy. “Plus, I wanted to talk to you. How’ve your paintings been?”

“Nothing special, I’ve been trying to paint the blooming sakura trees, but there’s something missing. They look a bit dull, so they’re not my best work.” Yuzuru claimed modestly.

“Come on, you’re always beautiful.” Javi blurted out instinctively.

Yuzuru let out a small “eh?” and his cheeks flushed red, looking down as he tapped his feet up and down.

“I- I mean your paintings! Your paintings are always beautiful!” Javi reassured, completely ashamed by his lack of filter as Yuzuru’s mouth formed an o shape, nodding understandably as he laughed awkwardly. They sat in silence, both fidgeting with their fingers, looking back and forth after that.

“Except that one painting of your sister you did, that was nightmare fuel.” Javi tried to joke, making Yuzuru groan.

“Like you can even draw! You can’t even pay attention in your classes, Prince Fernandez!” Yuzuru countered.

Their eyes met again quietly and Yuzuru licked his lips, quickly looking back down bashfully. Javier laughed, desperately trying to think of something to say to the other. He was surprised when he felt something warm on his hand, loosely grabbing it. Yuzuru had placed his hand on top of his, rubbing circles over the top of his hand hesitantly on his as he looked away, embarrassed. Quietly, Javier intertwined their fingers, nudging closer to Yuzuru. They sat next to each other, Javier squeezing the other’s hand gently. His heart skipped a beat when they looked up at the same time, seeing a light shade of pink tickle his crush’s cheeks. Javier opened his mouth to speak again, but fell silent as Yuzuru grabbed his arm with both hands, hugging it against his chest cutely.

“You’re- how are you so adorable?” Javier whispered, his gaze meeting the gleaming eyes of the other.

“Not at all, you’re always really, really attractive. Everyone loves you, wants to be by…by your side.” Yuzuru answered humbly. Javier leaned into his love, grabbing the smaller as he pulled him into a tight hug. Yuzuru hugged him back, meeting his eyes innocently before settling into the crook of his neck, making Javier’s chest tighten.

“How long can you stay for?” Yuzuru mumbled, burying his head into Javier’s chest.

“Forever.”

“I love you, Javi.”

-

Javier knew what he had to do. Looking at the ring on his finger, he knew that he wouldn’t find home anywhere else. He was still a little jealous, even a little angry, but he knew it would be a continued loss to continue ignoring his issues.

He did want to change. He did want to be good enough for Yuzuru. He was scared too, and he was used to using anger as an outlet. Only being around him made him feel warm, calm enough to reasonable, and he never wanted to lose that.

Taking a deep breath, he dusting himself off, adjusting his robes. As he opened the door and exited outside, he saw Nathan smile at him out of the corner of his eye. He asked a couple attendees around if they had seen his husband, but they politely declined, leaving Javier to search off on his own.

He travelled to the fountain, the garden, living quarters, everywhere, scouring the palace, but only managed to find him later, at the archery field. Yuzuru stood there, poised and composed, shooting at the target board in silence. He looked beautiful, bathed in the sunlight, but his eyes were still guilt-filled and scared. Javier watched as he fired again, shooting close to the bullseye but veering to the right, making him sigh. Suddenly, he flinched, feeling Javier’s gaze on him as he lowered the bow, placing it on the ground.

“Javier?” he asked cautiously, not moving towards him. He chewed his lip as they stared back at each other awkwardly, inhaling as he saw Javier approach him. He was surprised with a warm, longing hug as Javier wrapped his arms around his waist, Yuzuru smiling faintly as he cuddled into the chest.

“You feel warm.” Javier commented.

“You feel warm too.” Yuzuru replied, as Javier’s right palm reached out to trace Yuzuru’s soft features. Yuzuru beamed at the touch, leaning forwards into his hand.

“When did you pick up archery again?” Javier questioned curiously, looking down at the younger.

“Ju…Just recently.” Yuzuru confessed. “I’m still not very good.”

Javier wondered, “Who taught you?”

Yuzuru looked to the side, mumbling, “Um…it was actually…Nathan, your advisor Javi.”

He felt Javier’s grip on him tighten, sending a spike of pain down Yuzuru as he squealed uncomfortably. “Of course it was Nathan, fucking hell…” he grumbled impertinently, still not loosening his hold on Yuzuru. Frustrated, Yuzuru pushed him off, taking a step back away from Javier.

“You know I’d never do anything with Nathan, you know!” Yuzuru said bitterly. “I thought we were going to apologise, why are you getting angry again?”

Javier immediately got defensive, butting in uncouthly, “I’m not blind, Yuzuru. Inviting another man to our bedroom, what were you thinking?”

“No, that’s not the point Javier! Why can’t you just trust me? Why can’t I have friends?” Yuzuru yelled. “You do even worse all the time, but I can’t say anything! I can’t do anything but stay loyal to you!”

“I’m the Emperor, you’re a consort, that shit is normal, Yuzuru.” Javier interrupted angrily. Javier could feel his anger taking over him despite his initial intentions to not fight, but as Yuzuru drew closer and closer it continued to build up.

“So now you’re demeaning me to make yourself feel better? Thanks a lot!” Yuzuru hollered sarcastically. “Can’t you see you’re hurting me? I just wanted to the company of someone who would listen to me, and not just sleep with me occasionally and call it a day!”

In a moment of indignation, Javier roared, “What’s up with you defending him all the time like you’re his bitch? You sure act like you’ve fucked him, Yuzuru! How do I know you didn’t drop on your knees and present yourself to him while you’re all alone!”

Yuzuru’s expression immediately dropped, alongside all his hopes for the little boy he loved coming back. Javier stood there, breathing heavily, but each second he looked at him he felt reminded of what they had become, and how manipulative he had been. The burning glare in Javier’s eyes eventually faded, the severity of the accusations he had used dawning on him as he saw his husband wipe frantically at his face, pushing away tears.

“Yuzuru, I-”

Yuzuru slapped Javier across the face as hard as he could.

“Don’t you EVER say that! How could you? Why do you trust me so little, Javi?” Yuzuru screamed, disgusted, hurt and confused. “You know? For the record, this stupid bitch hasn’t had sex with anyone other than you! YOU, and only you! You were my first time and I thought that would mean something to you. I thought you’d take care of me, treat me like something, anything more than this!”

Javier looked back at him in shock, closing his eyes to avoid seeing his husband’s outburst. His defeated and utterly disgusted tone ripped at his heart, shred by shred, and he hated it. He knew he had royally fucked up, letting his emotions take control again. He reached forward for Yuzuru but he shoved him backwards, panting hard as his eyes welled up with tears.

“Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god, no.” Yuzuru suddenly muttered. “God I’m so ignorant, I’m so stupid, I should have known!”

“What do you-”

“I should have known since you never said you loved me too.” Yuzuru whispered, a crooked smile on his expression. Tears leaked out of Yuzuru’s eyes, flowing down as he stared at the emperor, betrayed. He sobbed into his hand and Javier could only stare at the crumbling boy before him.

“You could have just said if you only married me for my background, would have saved me from getting my hopes up, Javier Fernandez.” Yuzuru declared, tears glistening. Tired of it all, he darted forwards, picking up his bow and running as fast as he could, leaving the emperor all alone to crumple to his knees. He alone knelt on the ground, watching in despair his beloved fade into the distance as he rushed to get away.

And it was all his fault.

-

Yuzuru stumbled into his room out of breath, panting hard as he sniffled. He slammed the door shut and scrambled, gathering the few precious belongings he had and shoving it into a satchel. He needed to distance himself and take some time to breathe, and Yuzuru knew seeing his face again would just crush the remnants of his soul. Tugging the bag alongside him he fled outside once more, desperately wiping away at tears that seemed to never stop reminding him of the other. He looked around frantically, trying and trying to think of somewhere he could go, but it was useless.

He had nowhere to go. He had no-one to go to. He belonged to the palace, just as the palace belonged to Javier.

He was too tired for tears anymore. His eyes red and itchy, he dropped to the ground, holding his belongings close to his chest. A chilling gust of wind blew and Yuzuru let himself fall further down, closing his eyes in quiet resignation. What could he do anyways?

“Your highness, it’s okay. Don’t cry anymore, I can’t stand it.” a polite voice called out. A man patted his head gently, offering a hand.

“I’m so tired, Nathan, I’m so damn tired.” he cried weakly, meeting the boy’s eyes. He didn’t refuse as Nathan slowly picked him up on his back, letting him rest and bask in his warm presence. He carried him to his room and sat him on the bed, offering him a warm towel.

“You’re so strong, I’m so sorry. I just…I overheard, and I don’t know what else to say.” Nathan said tenderly.

“I just wanted to be happy,” Yuzuru begged. “I just wanted me and him to be happy. I really, really do like him, but I can’t if this keeps continuing…”

Seeing the proud consort burst into tears and sob uncontrollably into the pillows, Nathan couldn’t understand how anyone could not feel the urge to protect him. Patting his hair until he fell asleep, he couldn’t comprehend how Javier managed to fuck up his friend to this extent.

“I won’t let things end like this, you deserve better.” Nathan murmured to the boy, asleep.

-

“I can't lose you, please, or I'll lose myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...at this point you're probably wondering how Yuzuru actually still likes the guy. Me too! Yuzuru's a sweetheart and he honestly deserves the world. Let's hope they talk things out and Javi learns to deal with things better. Nathan please help him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end! Time for Javi to give Yuzu cuddles and stop being annoying for once, please. Nathan, we love you.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Nathan spat bitterly. “I thought you were apologising to him, your highness.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know Nathan. I just got…overwhelmed, and so angry, and it just came out horribly.” Javier confessed, feeling small under the protruding glare of Nathan. Sat in the cold chamber, the two men sat far apart, the emperor hunched over on the bed as his advisor stood in front of the door.

“Is…is he with you right now?” Javier prompted.

“He’s staying in my room.” he stated bluntly.

“Okay…okay.” Javier breathed in and out. “I’m glad he’s in safe hands.”

Nathan eyed him questionably, moving closer to the emperor. “And just what do you mean by that?”

“No I’m not accusing you of anything, I mean well.” Javier answered swiftly. “I know I’m a bit of a loose cannon, but I do trust you. I picked you as my advisor because I do, because I know you are trustworthy.”

“Who else would prevent you from accidentally selling the country?” Nathan sighed. The two men looked up at each other for the first time, a smile gracing Javier’s face. He suddenly stood up from the bed, standing directly in front of a surprised Nathan. He closed his eyes and bowed deeply to the boy, who was left confused and startled.

“Thank you, I’m indebted to you.” Javier told the younger slowly. “I’ve made a stupid, stupid mistake, and I hurt both you and someone close to us, and I apologise for making…outlandish comments. I respect you greatly and I desperately do need you.”

Nathan stood there, mouth gaping at the emperor bowing in front of him. “T- That’s very honest, Javier. Thank you, I forgive you on my part.” Nathan rejoined. “I still want you to apologise to Yuzuru before I can say anything more, but…I really appreciate your efforts. It’s tough.”

“Thank you, Nathan. I’ll apologise to him as soon as possible, I can only hope he’ll forgive me.” Javier divulged as he shrugged his shoulders, resigned as he slouched slightly.

“He’s hurt, and seeing him like that…to be frank, I can’t bear it.” Nathan revealed. “Each time he cries, wails, sobs, it makes me want to disappear.”

“I’m so sorry I caused this.” Javier whispered longingly. “He deserves so much better, and I do truly want to give that to him.” They stood in silence, the air less tense than before, now more somber and melancholic.

“He’s so beautiful, so kind with such a big heart.” Nathan conceded weakly. “I don’t know what it is about him that’s so sweet, but it’s just..very Yuzuru.”

“Nathan, are you…?”

“I haven’t done anything about it, it’s not like I can do much anyways. I’m your advisor first and foremost. I have to be honest.”

“Nathan, I didn’t know I-”

“He’s most, most beautiful when he’s smiling, isn’t he? And often, his smile is brightest when he’s with you; when you two are teasing each other, when you two are together.” Nathan continued, turning around to face the door. “You’re good and you’re bad for each other, but the good makes the both of you look so happy.” He paused, gulping as he felt he shoulders grow heavy.

“So, as your advisor, I beg of you. Talk to him, today. Don’t leave him lonely, cherish him and tell him you love him.” Nathan pleaded. “I want the both of you to be happy, so please take care of him.”

“I will, I promise you, wholeheartedly.” Javier acknowledged dutifully.

Nathan carried on, “If you dare hurt him again, I will intervene, not as your advisor, but as Yuzuru’s friend.”

“I won’t, Nathan.”

“But I promise, to never betray you.” Nathan confirmed boldly. He slid open the door gently, letting sunlight shine into the cold room. “He’ll be in the garden.” he said, giving Javier one last smile. He let the door fall short and made his way to his room. He walked past the garden on the way, seeing a familiar figure sitting, gazing at the horizon. Breathing in sharply, he looked at Yuzuru, graceful as ever. Closing his eyes, he indulged himself for just one moment.

“I like you, Yuzuru.” he whispered quietly.

He quickly cleared his throat. He let a sad smile fall onto his face, but he let his feet carry him forward. He moved onwards, keeping his chin held high.

-

Watching from behind, Yuzuru looked unbelievably elegant in the greenery, almost heavenly as he painted. He sat in front of the canvas in a sky-blue flower embroidered kimono, blending in with the surrounding beauty. His eyes were noticeably weary and heavy, but seeing his figure gently sway back and forth in the wind, Javier found that he never wanted to lose sight of him again. He painted the blooming sakura flowers with ease, letting his wrist flick up and down naturally, dipping up and down in short strokes. Javier’s heart pounded in his chest loudly, feeling like he was a young prince again, Yuzuru the ever beloved and unattainable cute friend, and the one he snuck out to talk with, laugh with, even hold hands with. From the innocent nights they spent those years ago giggling amongst themselves, to the nights they spent now becoming one, getting closer together than he ever thought possible before.

He wanted that loving embrace back, he wanted the loving look back. More than anything, he wanted Yuzuru to know that he did.

“Yuzuru, can I please talk to you?” Javier proposed carefully. The younger’s head immediately whipped back, almost dropping the palette in hand. He looked around anxiously, and Javier’s heart rate raced exponentially, silently hoping for a chance he knew he didn’t deserve.

“Please… please don’t get angry at me.” Yuzuru answered, holding his hands in front of him.

“I won’t, I promise you, truly.” Javier returned, slowly walking towards the doe-eyed man in front of him. “I want to talk, and I want to apologise to you. Will you hear me out?”

A gentle breeze blew by.

“I always will, Javier.” Yuzuru reassured, placing down his palette. Javier walked up to him tentatively, biting his lip nervously. He looked at Yuzuru’s expectant countenance in front of him and he knew what he had to do. He reached slowly for Yuzuru’s hands, taking his palms into his own tenderly and holding them in between them. He glanced over Yuzuru one last time before he took a deep breath, beginning:

“I’m so sorry for my harsh words yesterday. I fucked up royally on my part because…because I got jealous, and I didn’t know how to deal with my own self. I should never have acted out when I was at fault, so please don’t blame yourself. I also must apologise for stupidly neglecting you and acting like a horrible husband. I’ve always been so greedy, wanting more and more, and I wasn’t used to you yourself branching out. I wanted to hold you, treasure you, give you the world, but I also wanted even more, and I stupidly couldn’t handle you doing the same. 

I’ve never wanted someone this way, not this strongly in my life. I want to embrace you as I sleep and wake up to your face every morning. I want to tell you how sweet you are and laugh about a joke you made. I want to cuddle you tightly until I have to go, and see you curl into my side and snuggle my arm. I want to feel all of you when we’re one, in our deepest troughs of pleasure. I want you, god I want you.

I love you, Yuzuru. It’s not a matter of your position, or anything superficial like that. I want you to smile, I never wanted to hurt you like an asshole. I made such big mistake, and I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just want you to know…I want you to feel fulfilled, content and happy. I love you so much, I trust you with my life, and I’ve known for so long you’re the only for me ever.

I might look at other men and women, as shameful as it is. But I know for sure that I can’t lose you, or I’ll end up losing myself.

Thank you for carving the path for me so many times. I’ve ruined and hurt you, and I don’t know how I can apologise. I’m so deeply sorry, I… I just want to see you light up again. I want you to be you. I love you so much.”

Javier concluded his improvised speech there, breathing heavily in and out. Taking his first love’s palms, he placed a kiss on the back of his hand before letting go gently. He turned around to leave calmly.

But Yuzuru was always too kind. He felt Yuzuru reach out and grab tightly at his sleeve, but he didn’t dare turn around, afraid to see the expression on his husband’s face. Then he heard it, the painful, heartbroken sobs he never wanted to hear again. He spun around to his husband, who clung to his sleeve as tears spilt over and coursed down his pale cheeks. He sniffled and gulped, suppressing down hiccups. Javier felt his heart rip apart and shatter into a million tiny pieces, the tears of his beloved dripping onto his guilty sleeve.

He apologised miserably, “I’m so sorry, that was really-”

“You’re so bad, you’re so bad Javi! You know I can’t do without you! I’ve wanted…I’ve wanted to hear that for so long Javi. I love you so much Javi, it hurts.” he cried hopelessly. “I want to wake up next to you too, I want to laugh together, I want to cuddle, I want to feel you, I want you with me for the rest of my life!”

“I’ll always be yours forever, Yuzuru, I always have been.” Javier answered, pulling the shorter into his embrace. “I’ve been so blind. It’s only you I want, only you who I want to be with forever.”

“You hurt me…you really hurt me Javi. I want to stay by your side as long as you’ll let me, but I can’t disregard that.” Yuzuru added. “I know you can’t promise to ditch your concubines, but can you keep it private?”

“Of course I will, anything for you.” Javier replied immediately. “When I saw you with Nathan, so comfortable, looking like you were home, I was so scared you wouldn’t need me any more. Every time you were with him I wanted to take you into my arms and kiss you senseless, and to spoil you with everything I could. I need you, you’re part of me, Yuzuru.”

Seeing the fire in his husband’s eyes, once more, Yuzuru’s tears burst forth like water from a dam, wrapping his arms around the emperor tighter than he ever did before. He trembled in Javier’s embrace, dampening his shirt, but neither cared. “I was so lonely, I was so scared and lonely, Javi.” he let out wretchedly.

“I don’t want you to leave my side, ever again. I won’t let you be lonely, I promise, and I’ll never let myself hurt you again.” Javier professed, making Yuzuru beam with joy.

Their eyes met again, slow, but fondly.

“I love you, Javier.”

“I love you too, Yuzuru.”

They both leaned into each other, meeting in the middle for a kiss. Javier stroked Yuzuru’s hair behind him as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head as he licked Yuzuru’s lips. Yuzuru reciprocated, opening and allowing them to kiss even more. They eventually separated for air, panting, but soon after, Yuzuru pressed his lips against the other’s again fervently, kissing Javier with as much passion as he could. He was so glad they had managed to talk and get their feelings out, and he was so ready to move on.

For the rest of the day they were all over each other. In court, as Nathan made a passing comment at how clingy they seemed to be, Javier boldly pulled Yuzuru to sit directly on his lap, sliding his arm around his waist snugly in front of everyone at court. Possessively, he lightly nibbled the back of Yuzuru’s neck, making him squeal loudly in front of many blushing court officials. Yuzuru whined but eventually relented, embarrassed that so many saw him shriek but secretly happy. The rest of his time at court, Javier was distracted, constantly admiring the curves of his lover in front of him, making Nathan flick his forehead to wake him up. Nathan gave them both a cheeky thumbs up and a smirk, making Yuzuru roll his eyes. Eventually court service was over, and everyone retreated to their dwellings. Nathan walked Yuzuru back to his chamber as Javier finished up paperwork.

“Thank you for everything, especially for getting him to talk to me, I assume.” Yuzuru smiled.

“It’s part of the job, make sure the emperor’s not a dumb ass and make sure the wife’s satisfied.” Nathan joked, making Yuzuru cover his face with his hands as he groaned loudly.

“I’m not a girl!” Yuzuru cried, making Nathan chuckle.

“That was pretty high-pitched, are you 100% sure? I don’t judge,” Nathan teased, making Yuzuru slap his shoulder playfully.

“I’m here to pick up the wife.” Javier stated casually, making Yuzuru splutter and choke as Nathan cackled loudly.

“How long have you been here? Stalker.” Yuzuru queried suspiciously as Javier intertwined their fingers together.

“Sorry, you looked really good in court and I’m whipped.” Javier acknowledged, making Yuzuru’s cheeks go pink.

“I have no idea what you were going for, but please don’t do that again. We don’t need any small, or I guess, big surprises. I know you can get…excited…Javier. Just kidding! I know you aren’t.” Nathan laughed.

“Well how do you know for sure? I’ve got a pretty boy straddling my lap, who knows what will happen?”

“I’M GOING TO VOMIT, PLEASE HAVE A NICE DAY YOUR HIGHNESS, I’M SO INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE AT THE THOUGHT OF YOU WITH A BONER GOODBYE-” Nathan breathed out, speeding up his pace as he walked in front of the duo, making Yuzuru pinch Javier and the other howl with laughter like an idiot. As they reached the chamber, Nathan hugged Yuzuru goodbye, ruffling through his hair. He then bowed and waved to the duo, leaving them to themselves.

That night, Javier took apart Yuzuru slowly, kissing down his pale thighs slowly and savouring every moment. Every moan, every look, every action, he held it tight to his heart, enjoying the high pitched noises his lover elicited when he hit the right spot and the whiny, breathy noises his angel let him and only him hear.

Lying down with the sweetest and most kind-hearted boy he had ever met, Javier felt whole again.

Lying down with the sweetest and most kind-hearted boy he had ever met, Yuzuru felt whole again.

As they lay asleep intertwined, hearts beating together as one, they let themselves bask in each other’s presence, embracing their shared warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Your comments have been very sweet and kept me motivated in this random thing, hope it wasn't too bad. Any feedback/screaming/general blabbering always appreciated.


End file.
